Sometimes you have to let go...

or at least be willing to let go in order to get something you desperately want. What I wanted was Trace. To keep him, to have him with me. I had given up, admitted defeat and then it all changed.

Some of you know that I have a QH that has suffered from EPM. For the last three years he has fought off two rounds of the infection and suffered from the lasting effects. Last fall I had finally come to terms with the fact that he was not getting better and his quality of life had just about reached the bottom of the acceptable scale. I decided that this spring before the insects got bad I would have him PTS. Well, this spring came and strangely enough he didn't show seem to be struggling with the effects as badly as before. So I waited as long as I could, and when the nasty horse flies started arriving I decided it was time to really clean him up for some photos. He needed his feet touched up, they weren’t' bad but I didn't want them anything but perfect for photos, so I started to trim him. It became very clear that he was completely balanced; he was not having any weakness issues.

I decided that I would ride him. I have written about this part before but to bring everyone up to speed, he was fine. He trotted out nicely, he even loped. It was not a comfortable lope, he was on conflicting leads front and back but he loped which was a huge accomplishment. This was the glimmer of hope I had been waiting for. Maybe just maybe I wasn't going to lose my beloved Trace after all. If he could just be sound enough to trail ride I would be completely happy. I could live with that. I started riding him more, lunging him again; I have even gone back to giving walk trot lessons on him. He was doing so well, and I didn't even think about wishing for more.

Last month, I hauled him to a local show to do a trail class on him. We were late and missed the class, but I saddled him to ride around anyway. We were up on the hill trotting circles and he picked up a lope, on the correct lead front and back; and held it for 2/3 of the circle. I was stunned, shocked, blow away, you name it, and I was speechless. I had been riding with split reins so I headed down to the trailer to see if I had a pair of sport reins. Dismounted and stuck my head in the trailer for not even 30 seconds and Trace somehow got tangled and flipped himself upside down between the trailers. Long story short he is okay, needed a few stitches to close a cut on his leg but he was fine.

It has been a month now, and Sunday night he was playing around in the field running and bucking. He was RUNNING AND BUCKING; you know those good twisting bucks. I stood with my mouth gapping open in disbelief. I thought about it and decided that I was going to saddle him up and see what he really had.

Last night my daughter and cousin were getting ready to practice barrels. The field had been dressed, and I decided I was going to ride with them. I saddled Trace up, went out to warm him up, trotted laps, pulled to the middle for a circle, and said LOPE. He did. My daughter was not paying attention to me, but about half way around the second circle I let out a “whoop, whoop!” and she turned to see. He was doing it!!! Both ways were good.

Of course I couldn’t stand it I had to work the pattern too. He remembered his points, he went right back into the pattern like it he had only done it yesterday. We walked one, trotted one, and when we went to trot the second one he switched on me at the second barrel. He decided that a lope would be better. Then, around the third and he turned it on for home.

I should have stopped him, but he knows his limitations better than I do. It felt like flying! Trace and I have always moved together so well, and it was so comfortable I just couldn’t make him quit.

We RAN!!! He turned that third barrel like the horse I know and love, and then he RAN.

I know there are some that will not understand how this feels, but to me it was like finally being able to breathe after having to hold your breath underwater. For three years I have mourned the loss of my very athletic horse, even though he still lived. I had lost all hope that we would ever run again but we have received our reprieve. He got the pardon I had prayed for and I got back my wings.